You Ruined My Life

the only real friends that i have every had
were the ones yelling to me in my headphones
the ones that sooth me to sleep
the ones that made me feel excited for the day
the ones that made me get over someone
the ones that had every right to control me
music is fucking dead
all that's left is all the fucking merch
keep pouring your dollars into there bowls
my feelings
my feelings of non existence
my feelings of being an alien
my feelings of caring
my feelings have betrayed me
they've beat me to a submission
my feelings made disobey my mothers religion
my feelings leave me feeling for something real
when i extend my reach and return my arm
it finds its ways to my pupils and my head
19 years ive been living and breathing
19 years Ive been letting people control my feelings
19 years Ive kept shut and taken all the bullshit
19 years and i keep participating
recycled and thrown to living
19 years of people never taken me seriously
next year maybe i will learn
this slouch matches my personality
it hangs and hovers its neutral
under the radar
a submarine under water
when i raise my head and straighten
my back it hurts and everyone can see me
i am vulnerable the public can spot me

shut the fuck up
your fucking bitch to much dood
i swear your fucking best friend
doesn't even fucking like you
shut the fuck up