having a good time?

so i will lock all the doors

keep them closed

keep my chin up so nobody knows

wipe my eyes and keep them dry

hold all this frustation and wont cry

i am entitled to this till i overcome

anchor my hands to my face

sleep for hours mins and days

climb the ladder down and slip

still i beat myself up

out of step

getting abused and emotional raped

so please dont tell me this is how it ends

make me feel better for this

still i kid myself

i will love myself beacuse nobody knows

the turmoil and abuse my heart still pumps

if the anwsers dont come ill stick to my guns

its already over and done

so take my hand and hold it close

its not me nor you its us both

rest your head on my chest

i am not running away from you

if i take myself from me save me

your eyes look tired

you always wake up so late

i wish you a good day every day

still i stand here wondering what you are doing

ill refrain myself

getting step on and abused

its going to end bad so i wont even try

i feel the lace on my neck

gripping tigtly

its me he wont let me go

i am not giving up on you 4:27 AM

if you decided to step on me like everyone else

at least wipe your feet before we meet.

i mean you are my bestfriend with a highschool sweetheart : your perfect

ill never make that mistake again
i am not laying my life on the line for you
this is just the way i feel
i am sorry if you dont have time for me
ill never make that mistake again
i am sorry i have fucking issues deal with it
once i am gone i hope that you remember
remember what i said
i am too fucked up too even know what i am saying
i just want some one to hold someone to call my own
some one that i can tell how i feel someone to tell
whats going on. someone to watch t.v with
someone to take showers with, someone too dance with
i just want you too love me.
but once i am gone
buried and sealed
like a can of tuna
you rlaize that all i anted was to be your friend
its too late
the end.
fuck you where are my pills
fuck you ill take as much as my stomach
can fill
fuck you
kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill
kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

Disassociation your mine

yesterday i fell into a deep depression blue something i never knew whats new something i am used too couldn't stop thinking about you 323 written all over me 909 as you can be maybe i find something to love maybe Ive found someone to hold above someone that gets me yet i am a stranger relax sit back i know you've been betrayed but i am not going anywhere i am here to stay no one gets close at the end of the day porcelain white skin cheery chapped lips black cat tail eyebrows sapphires eyes galaxy pupils body like a super model brain of a prodigy i have yet to see you in reality in my dreams you thrive but it all ends when i open my eyes

Words From The Wise

Its funny here, now that im not a douche bag. your original messages to me made you seem like one. anyhow here are the answers to your questions....

1. this is like asking what is the meaning of life. see, 19 years ago i started a band. this is pre internet, cell phones, and so on. i was 15 years old. a kid. i toured all over the u.s. canada and mexico. it all went from there. im still busting my ass, im broke but i have done whatever i wanted to. so foe to me sum this up in a message via mysapace, well that is asking for something that just wont happen. why is steve what he is? you got me. sure we come from a place long ago that has similar ties. but he is nowhere close to where i am, and vise versa for me. i never had anyone to ask. just sort of looked up to labels like discord, ebullition, and alternative tentacles when i was a kid. all the people and bands gave me a set of morals to look at. and i created something from nothing.

2. three one g is not hiring. as a matter of fact, i pay to run three one g. we make no money.

i couldn't asked for any better advice. From a idol to a fan thank you Mr. Pearson
we still need to get that photo booth picture ♥

http://www.myspace.com/threeoneg

The Queen Is Dead

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
And as I climb into an empty bed
Oh well. Enough said.
I know it's over - still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Oh ...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
See, the sea wants to take me
The knife wants to slit me
Do you think you can help me ?
Sad veiled bride, please be happy
Handsome groom, give her room
Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly
(Though she needs you
More than she loves you)
And I know it's over - still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
Over and over and over and over
Over and over, la ...
I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me, and said :
"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight ?
If you're so very good-looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight ?
I know ...
'Cause tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they're in each other's arms..."
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes strength to be gentle and kind
Over, over, over, over
It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be gentle and kind
Over, over
Love is Natural and Real
But not for you, my love
Not tonight, my love
Love is Natural and Real
But not for such as you and I, my love
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can even feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my ...

You Ruined My Life

the only real friends that i have every had
were the ones yelling to me in my headphones
the ones that sooth me to sleep
the ones that made me feel excited for the day
the ones that made me get over someone
the ones that had every right to control me
music is fucking dead
all that's left is all the fucking merch
keep pouring your dollars into there bowls
my feelings
my feelings of non existence
my feelings of being an alien
my feelings of caring
my feelings have betrayed me
they've beat me to a submission
my feelings made disobey my mothers religion
my feelings leave me feeling for something real
when i extend my reach and return my arm
it finds its ways to my pupils and my head
19 years ive been living and breathing
19 years Ive been letting people control my feelings
19 years Ive kept shut and taken all the bullshit
19 years and i keep participating
recycled and thrown to living
19 years of people never taken me seriously
next year maybe i will learn
this slouch matches my personality
it hangs and hovers its neutral
under the radar
a submarine under water
when i raise my head and straighten
my back it hurts and everyone can see me
i am vulnerable the public can spot me

shut the fuck up
your fucking bitch to much dood
i swear your fucking best friend
doesn't even fucking like you
shut the fuck up

At Least I Make Self Pity Fun

when you asked if i cared
i really didn't
i am not a murder
but i wish someone could hurt her
you left me behind
you really didn't mind
you made me feel like Mario
out on a limb
while Bowser reigned
stroking his reptile cock
my voice still cracks
it usually happens when i laugh
i am not used to being happy
i am a little bit rusty
a question mark is just a curved
exclamation point!
exclamation point how does it feel to
be used,retained,demoted?
he said he feels like this !
so perhaps when the question gets serious
he gets scared and puts up his front?
ill cut you as far as i can reach
dump your body in my car
soak your clothing in bleach
you fucking gave me tomatoes
i hate tomatoes
tomatoes are the retard offspring
of pineapples
orphan vegetables similar hair styles.
today i saw someone trip over a curb
i laughed so hard for 5 seconds
i was lost and blinded
shes probably reading this now
and laughing at my self pity.
idolatrous thoughts
does Ronald McDonald wash off his make before
bed?